A Very Odd Day
by FunWriter1
Summary: Neil finds a surprise in the cornflakes, Mike receives an unbelievable surprise... And someone's looking for Rick. Warning: contains some naughty words
1. Default Chapter

The Young Ones:  
  
An Odd Day… Even for The Young Ones  
  
Mike read the morning paper as Neil organised tea for everyone. Neil walked to the bottom of the stairs, "Rick, Vyvian tea is ready, but if you don't want it that's ok also right since you probably won't like it anyway right because we're out of sugar anyway."  
  
The telephone rings and Neil answers it right away, "Hello… Yes Rick does live here." Then hangs up the phone.  
  
A large explosion could be heard outside the house, "Oh no man… Heavy." Vivian steps through the open door, "Now they're going to know where we live." Vivian goes to the table and looks at the tea before throwing the cup on the floor, "Neil where's the sugar? Everybody knows you can't have tea without five tablespoons of sugar."  
  
"Vivian." Mike said, not looking away from his paper, "Did you blow up the mailbox again?"  
  
"Yes Mike… I had to, nobody was sending us mail."  
  
Rick comes down the stairs and looked around.  
  
"Hey Rick." Neil said, "A guy named Richard wanted to know if you lived here right. So I said yes you did."  
  
Neil shuffled through the cornflakes packet and pulled out a letter the others looked stunned.  
  
"See what I told ya Mike…" Vyvian exclaimed, "I blew up the mailbox and we're getting mail already."  
  
"Well doesn't that put a fiver in your wallet." Mike said, "What's it say."  
  
Rick sits down and drinks the tea. "Ohhh man, it's addressed to me." Neil said, "Wander if it's from the cornflakes. Right, yeah." He reads it, "I've won four tickets to see Woodstock just down the road." Neil has a confused look on his face, "Man I must have been meditating when I entered it."  
  
"Oh Neil." Rick said, "I suppose you think that it's great to see all your hippy friends performing hippy songs. Now if Cliff played Woodstock that would be different. You know I love Cliff Richard."  
  
"Poof." Vyvian said trimming his fingernails with a butcher knife.  
  
"Oh very intelligent Vyvian." Rick said, "So since you love violence that'll make you a, a" He tried to think of a witty remark, "Mister Farty Pants. You've had enough Nazi or would you like some more." Rick gave him the up yours sign. Vyvian looked at the butcher knife and then at Rick's finger then back at the butcher knife, "Stand still. I want to see if you bleed red blood or some poofy colour." Vyvian chases Rick up the stairs.  
  
"Whoa man." Neil said, "I might even have to wear my other trousers for Woodstock. And have to find three other people to take to Woodstock."  
  
Mike finds himself alone in the kitchen, "If Neil was any smarter he still won't be smarter than garden gnome."  
  
The scene cuts to the gnome in the front yard where a gnome is in the garden, "You know I don't mind being in poor gags like that. I'm with the Gnome's Acting Guild and I get paid to stand around like a gnome all day. Which reminds me of the time my mates came across two Bobbies in the park. They asked my mate's what were they doing. And they said just being gnome's. A bobby asked them if they were at school and they answered yeah they were and they took the test that made them officially smarter than the average hippy."  
  
Rick trips over the garden gnome knocking it out of the garden and causing it to roll out on the street… A car pulls up and knocks the gnome further down the street.  
  
Vyvian chases after Rick as a man approaches the front door and rings the bell. Mike opens the door. "Are you Mike?" The man at the door asked. "If this is about Fat Bastard and his money." Mike said, "Tell him his money is in the mail as well as the dozen tapes. If it's about the police and my finances then no I'm not Mike." "Mike it's about the stocks you invested in about five yrs ago." The man said, "They skyrocketed and I've got a cheque here for you for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars." "Yes I'm Mike." He takes the cheque and goes back inside.  
  
"This makes me as happy as a pig in mud." Mike said.  
  
The scene cuts to a pig in mud, "I'm not really that happy."  
  
The scene cuts to a gnome been hit by another car and eventually lands back into the garden. Vyvian picks it up and smashes it over Rick's head. "Oh look Rick." Vivian said angrily, "You broke another gnome."  
  
* * * Next Chapter Preview: Neil prepares for Woodstock… Mike tries to figure out what to do with his newfound fame. Rick receives an unexpected figure that Vyvian likes 


	2. Unexpected Visitor

The Young Ones2  
  
Vivian starts tearing out the pages of magazines in the living room and throws them out the window while Neil runs down the stairs and answers the  
telephone and hangs it back up before going back upstairs again. Rik avoids Neil and walks into the living room, "What's the matter Vyvian?  
Not enough pictures in them?" He says.  
  
"Rik… I'm doing this for a reason." Vyvian yelled, "I am totally and  
utterly bored."  
  
"They're my magazines you're wrecking." Rik picked up some pieces off the  
floor, "My Anti Fascist Monthly collection."  
Rik takes a dining room chair and throws it in Vyvian's direction. It  
misses and goes through the window. "Ha… You throw like a girlie." Vyvian said tackling Rik to the sofa and  
started punching him.  
  
"Vivian." Rik pleaded, "Get off me."  
  
Mike comes in using a calculator and punches in some numbers, "Two fifty for Fat Bastard. Three big ones to Harry." He stops awhile, "About five thousand to turn Rik's bedroom into a single's bar." Then he walks back  
upstairs.  
  
"What?" Rik said, he shoved Vyvian off the couch and chased after Mike,  
"Mike, what are you doing to my room? For a moment there I thought you  
said you were going to change my room into a single's bar."  
  
"I am Rik." Mike said, "As soon as I get to the bank and cash my big  
cheque."  
  
Rik stopped Mike again, "Wait a minute, what cheque?" He asked  
dumbfounded.  
  
"My smartness has finally paid off." Mike said, "I got a cheque for two  
hundred and fifty thousand-"  
  
"TWO HUNDRED-" Mike covered up Rik's mouth.  
  
"Be quite about it… I'll cut you in on the profits. But don't tell  
anyone." Mike said, "We'll be rich. Well I'd be even richer."  
  
Mike leaves the house in a hurry.  
  
"Rik, Rik." Neil greeted Rik.  
  
"I don't have time for you." Rik held his hands on his hips, "And why  
haven't you made lunch already."  
  
"Oh right don't consider my feelings in this right. You see I got this  
strange phone call right, from a strange man."  
  
"Nobody cares about you." Rik said.  
  
"No wait Rik." Neil continued on regardless, "The voice on the other end told me to tell you he was coming right. So I'm telling you he's coming."  
  
"Who's coming?" Rik asked.  
  
"I don't know." Neil said.  
  
"You're no bloody help are you?" Rik snapped, "You useless hippy."  
  
"Right. I guess I'll make some lunch then." Neil walks towards the kitchen, "You know I wander what it would have been like if people had to  
make lunch during the sixties instead of doing important things for the  
Earth. I wander."  
  
++++  
  
"Let's Protest a war and do some good." A woman wearing a long dress in  
the street said, "It'll be good for the world right." A man put his placard down, "Sorry I can't… You see I got to make lunch for  
my roommates you see."  
"Oh ok… So do I actually." The woman said.  
  
A hundred police are standing in the middle of the street, "Where are all the protestor? Well at least my roommates won't be disappointed cause I  
can make them lunch."  
The other nine said, "Me too." In unison and they all left.  
  
++++  
  
"Wow man… Heavy." Neil said as put the lunch down on the table.  
  
"Neil. You call this lunch?" Vyvian yelled, "I call this crap." He  
through the plate at Neil, "I want some real lunch Neil!"  
  
"Vyvian man don't hassle me." Neil said, "Don't bring me down so close to  
Woodstock right."  
  
"Neil." Vyvian said, "Shut up."  
  
"Wow man… Why you always got to pick on the hippie? Why me?" Neil whined.  
  
"Because Rick is an easy target… Mike's just not funny." Vyvian thought  
for a moment, "And plus you're an ugly, smelly hippie."  
  
"Hey." Mike said and Rick said.  
  
A knock on the interrupted their argument and the person walked through the  
door wearing a white suit with brown hair.  
"Is there a Rik here?" The man asked.  
  
"Oh my God!" Vyvian yelled, "It's Cliff Richard. Give us a song!"  
  
"What do you say?" Cliff asked.  
  
Vyvian thought for a moment, "Give us a song… Now!"  
  
"Alright then." Cliff Richard said, "I got myself the only crying talking  
sleeping walking, Living Doll."  
  
"Living Doll!" Vyvian yelled out.  
  
Cliff Richard tried not to laugh, "I've got a roving eye and that is why  
she satisfies my soul." He continued as the others watched on.  
  
"fies my soul." Vyvian said.  
  
Cliff Richard laughed as he went to shake Vyvian's hand, "So you must be  
Rik then. I've received thousands of letters from you."  
  
"Uh no…" Vyvian said, "You see, that spotty faced, smelly pants, girly  
sounding and girly looking git over there."  
  
"Cliff. It's a pleasure to meet you." Rik said shaking his hand, "I'm  
glad you got all my letters."  
  
Cliff Richard pushes Rik over the couch, "You are right… He's a girly  
sounding git."  
  
Vyvian sings, "Got myself the one and only Living Doll."  
  
"Living Doll!" Cliff yelled.  
  
Mike still hadn't blink through the whole fiasco, "Now there's something you don't see everyday even in this house. I have to scoot to the bank and  
cash my cheque before the bank closes.  
  
++++  
  
Next episode: Will the truth of the day be revealed. And will Cliff Richard enjoy his visit with the Young Ones. And will Neil find 3 friends  
to go to Woodstock with. 


End file.
